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FLERGS LEAGUE SEASON XII
Outwit. Outplay. Outlast. Outprobst.
Go to Ultimate Footy website
CONGRATULATIONS TO Shug - THE 2023 ZEMPILAS-MORPHETT CHAMPION
BREAKING: In horrible mix-up, Spit takes Starc pick 1 in the mini-draft ------------- Shuga declares he will reign as a fair and just finemaster. Immediately steals premiership ring ------------- Hoss serves revenge - votes for redraft, ironically causing Ticket to have Roberton-like heart issues ------------- Draft set for 29 February 2020. AJ set to miss draft and attend wife's colleague's sister's brother-in-law's colleague's leap year party 100m up the road ------------- Ticket terrified of favouritism tag - ups and leaves Victoria ------------- OLD NEWS: Hird it on the Grape Viney Coach caught in Sydney Sex Romp. News leaked by coach himself. Women of Sydney strongly deny any involvement ------------- Smell my Toumpas given residency at Caesar's Palace after somehow escaping relegation - "Better than Houdini", "Incredible illusionist", "5 stars" ------------- Scrag went to Europe, apparently ------------- Shuga denies tanking claims. Also vehemently denies global warming, moon landing and Earth being round ------------- Konfused Krabs' Kripps - Krabs sell Patrick Cripps thinking he is Jamie Cripps ------------- Lumberjack Lads relegated for the second time. Blames Redden for not only all his losses, but also high unemployment rate, Brexit and discontinuance of the Timeout chocolate bar ------------- Shmaz through to preliminary final weekend. Gives credit to Level 2 coaching accreditation ------------- DJTJ Uncut. TV networks set up bidding war for late night story time show ------------- Saved by Ziebell coach investigated by RSPCA for anti-snake campaign ------------- Rumours that Neale Before Me seen alive shown to be a hoax. Still unseen for 12 months ------------- Oi Vay McVeigh celebrates at 30th birthday party, as FPOM celebrates Oi Vay McVeigh celebrating anywhere but the AGM ------------- Mishuga Miles irrevocably declares he will continue to make irrevocable empty promises ------------- Schofield's Beard coach shocks peers with outdated claim: "the world is flat" ------------- Scrag Swallows Pride: Commissioner defeats Scrag in win for the ages. No joke, just wanted to rub it in ------------- Callum Mills rumoured to be drafted at pick 0, before draft even starts ------------- "There's only room for one Spita in this league" - Cornes' Fritters spits out rival as rigged voting system revealed ------------- Shmaz twitter bombshell - Shmazaville coach arrested on charges of tweeting and driving. Stood down indefinitely from Flergs ------------- Mishuga Miles coach hires Throth to represent him in ageist claims against fellow Flergs coaches. Throth coach claims conflict ------------- Saved by Ziepoo. SBZ coach has Monday morning toilet break ------------- Beard gagged. Schofield's Beard afraid to talk with $5 suspended fine hanging over his bearded head ------------- 'S.Ashton has left the group' - Wingardium Leviosa accused of empty promises ------------- Finemaster declares bankruptcy after series of tweet related fines ------------- Flergs Studio account blocks Zibba after constant trade requests ------------- Golf Course Boys Club - Picks 1 and 5 revealed on the golf course, but coaches sworn to secrecy ------------- Wolves Week day Woopsie: Dockland Wolves confused by when draft day is. Reveals he knows no other day except Wednesday ------------- Dasha 'shattered' following Oi Vay McVeigh re-entry on thread ------------- SWAT teams ready for Draft Day showdown ---------------- Scragalicious finally wins ... Most Unfashionable Man Award at OAFC ------------- First player drafted purely out of anger as RCB welcomes Max Gawn ------------- Rivalry heats up as Wingard-ium stocks up on Coon and CSR for last #SugarCheese derby of 2014 ------------- Flergs passionate about Passiona, the official soft drink of the Flergs League ------------- All you can Hogan coach found shivering in dark corner after trade period finishes ------------- Dom Cassisi retires. Does not realise he has been delisted several times this year in Flergs ------------- Fleur de Lies, again. Flowers coach in hot water over side deal ------------- Pain Train derailed. Watto's Wednesdays open for business again after losing relegation battle ------------- ThrothFleet coach stops wearing Stevie and smoking Jays after emotionally trading the cat star Stevie J ------------- Vlergs - rival Flergs League found in Vietnam after Dankers coach starts international league ------------- No pablo trado. Shmazaville coach finally reveals worst kept secret - "I don't know how to trade" ------------- INVESTIGATION PENDING. Fleurs offer Marc Murphy and paper bag containing $3,000 to Scragalicious ------------- Fleurs Coach offers Commissioner $5,000 to allow Murphy/Cash deal ------------- Sloanes Coach demands same sex marriage. Wants to legally wed Shane Kersten for keeping him in Flergs ------------- Brent Harvey offered up for trade by Boaks. Walking frame included ------------- Carluke Barrettsztajn predicts his own victory on Flergs Journalism Award night. Says he can't name his sources, but knew he would win ------------- Shuga offers trade to Boak: "I don't want Harvey, but I need the walking frame" ------------- Barrettsztajn DNI results are in. Confirmed love child of Barrett, Wilson and Duthie in world's first three-way birth ------------- ThrothFleet aggressively targets Meaty: "I don't just want him out of Crabs, I want him dead" ------------- Hugh first coach since Nathan Buckley to make trade with Rocket over his shoulder ------------- Pain Train Express have cancelled Thursday training sessions indefinitely. Watto Wednesdays now mandatory for all players ------------- 22 June 2014 declared national Flergs holiday after Shmazaville lose their first match in 9 weeks ------------- Confused Sandy Boaks coach looks to sell Harley Bennell low after 6 goal effort ------------- AYCH coach announces Flergs Bitcoin System. He just loves trading so much ------------- Police alerted to cyber bullying after Grizzly Adams attack on Shmazaville ------------- Relegation Coming Bitches? RCB in dire straights, forced to trade two keepers for pick 79 and free agent ------------- Gorillas throw poo at each other in touching display of affection after Brown announces retirement ------------- Meaty also throws poo at Woolfy in drunken rampage in Mykonos ------------- Woolf presses charges against Seedy Itchy Crabs coach after wild night out in Greek Islands ------------- Stubble coach hopes for more injuries. Diagnosed with strand of Stockholm Disease (known as Schofield's Disease). Now loves when his players get injured ------------- Scragalicious sends out survey to find why he isn't the most hated in Flergs. Survey works. People hate surveys ------------- Scrag now most hated Flerg ------------- Mishuga grumpier than normal. Expresses hatred in series of memes ------------- Monkus and Mest investigated for misleading conduct. Hold fire sale, but prices higher than RRP ------------- Wingard-ium Leviosa accidentally drafts Lady Gaga because she is bye-friendly ------------- Crabs to spread themselves throughout Europe - "Been there done that" proclaims Scrog ------------- Coach of third placed Dankers unceremoniously sacked for worst tanking ever ------------- Pain Train coach has not quit yet despite 0-7 start to season. Watch this space ------------- Fleur de Lys coach in hot water after suggesting to fiance that he will have 17 groomsmen ------------- All you can Hogan drafts Kane Mitchell for short stint before next Lord of the Rings movie ------------- ThrothFleet happy to have no Fleet: "I love throths" ------------- OLD NEWS: After signing rookie midfielder Sam Gray, to go with keeper Robbie Gray, Wingard-ium Leviosa coach declares he will only draft coloured players. Coach later admits his statement could be misinterpreted ------------- All you can Hogan coach in predicament after trying to trade himself in a confusing trade proposal ------------- Commissioner investigates side deal in trade between RCB and Scragalicious - Scrog gets Griffen, does he have to do Animal Farm dishes for the season? ------------- Shmaverages FC proposes reasonable offer, then cancels offer, then offers rubbish ------------- Paul Monkus excited to farewell Senior Coach Mest - "I'm going to take control of my Crabs" ------------- Sandy Boaks coach and Damien Hardwick in tug of war over best position for Riewoldt ------------- Zac Clarke finally ready to play for Pain Train, only to be traded for another injured player ------------- Dankers to Grizzly Adams: "Lay Down Misere?" ------------- Kreuzer given last chance from Sandy coach: "If you don't score a 100 this week, you must officially change your name to the poo symbol" ------------- Grizzly Adams admits happy error with first pick in 2014 draft: "Great start by Nathan, but I thought I picked Marion Jones. She's much faster" ------------- Mishuga coach receives official warning from employer for taking selfies at work, but gets 5,000 new Instagram followers ------------- Sloane jumps queue - outrage after Flergs coach receives special treatment by Dr Hoy ------------- Barlow, Enright, Clarke, Seedsman, Robinson all injured - Pain Train regretting name choice curse ------------- AYCH coach hit with intervention order after snaps of Mishuga coach. ------------- Police question Mishuga over hostage and kidnapping claims after 'lock and key' comment regarding Mundy and Treloar ------------- The Commissioner stubbornly signs Jack Martin to 9 year deal after serious shoulder injury ------------- Wingard-ium coach embarrassed after ruining favourite pair of pants while watching Carlton v Port Adelaide ------------- Tankers rumoured to have left for Vietnam. "He's suspiciously quiet, even for him" ------------- Vickery to be charged with manslaughter after ThrothFleet head coach has heart attack yelling Tyrowwww ------------- Mesty's secret life finally revealed - meet Meaty, the Grinder veteran ------------- All Memed Out? Mishuga to produce a meme on why he has stopped producing memes ------------- "It's bigger than the Great Wall" - Astronaut. GI Gorillas grin seen from the moon after Round 1 start ------------- Pain Train arrest revealed as fake. Scragalicious tells all ------------- Fyfe Furious as MAYTHESUBBEWITHU changes name for comedic purposes ------------- Scragalicious draft Marley Williams so they can make Flergs version of The Longest Yard. Adam Sandler rumoured to play Marley Williams ------------- The man affectionately known as The Voice of the Flergs, Jedda Wignall, to perform live at 2014 grand final breakfast. Meatloaf will not perform, but may be on the menu ------------- Motlop reveals he suffered from severe depression after leaving the Mosquito Fleet. Hopes to make new fleet, the CrustationFleet, with Crab teammates Michael Johnson and Dayle Garlett ------------- Grizzly Adams coach invites all Flergs to his 18th. Trasha not happy ------------- Doctor: "He may need surgery". Medicated Mishuga doctor fears for coach. "Medication clearly not working after poor draft choices" ------------- Viv Michie filthy with Commissioner for taking him so late ------------- Fleur de Lies. The truth is revealed - there is no 'Jenny'. It has been Nick this whole time ------------- Steve Dankers coach attends Draft Day. No joke here, just genuine shock ------------- Random girl likes Flergs Instagram photo... It's working! ------------- Tension in Jewish community as Crabs' assistant coach Hughmonkus tipped to takeover Shmaverages FC in 2015 ------------- Itchy Crabs Coach ironically diagnosed with pubic lice after visiting Flergs HQ, the Farm ----------- A Jewell gives away keeper practical joke by accidentally referring to Caddy as a red herring. Motlop expected to be named keeper by Friday's deadline ----------- With it's population dwindling due to injuries, Rack City Bitches renamed Rack Town Bitches by local council; Same council also proposes new dickhead levy for all citizens residing in the Shmazaville zone ----------- After demanding all his players take part in FebFast, Pain Train Express coach in hot water after boozy night out in CBD ----------- Attack of the Sloanes coach and token Flergs tradie confused by electronic money: "How do you know it's there?" ----------- Wingard-ium Leviosa has brain fade and picks Luke Russell with first pick in the 2014 draft ----------- ThrothFleet to be stripped of their Flergs licence for refusing to choose only 8 Geelong small forward keepers before the keeper selection deadline ----------- GI Gorillas 2014 ambitions modest - "We're hoping not to finish last" ----------- Brent Harvey 'nonplussed' after his own coach labels him a dirty c*nt ----------- Medicated Mishuga and MAYTHEFYFEBEWITHU spotted hand-in-hand walking along Brighton Beach. Is it all an act? ----------- Is the Commissioner considering throwing a lifeline to Tim Tebow? ----------- Schofield's Stubble players pledge not to shave within 3 days of a match ----------- Sacre bleu! Fleur de Lys to play 5 home games in France from 2016 -----------
Shug has done it. The 5 year plan stretched into a decade, but he's done it.
With the Scrag back, who will take out the honours in Season XII?
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